81. You think sleep training is bad once… you’ll probably have to do it more than once if you go on vacation, baby gets sick or something else jogs the routine. Yeah. Not fun.
82. Once the baby is mobile, he or she will have lots of bumps and bruises. They’re just unstable. And curious. Bad combo.
83. Nothing is safe. Even baby proofed drawers etc.
84. Husbands will just never understand. Period. They can try. But they just never fully will. Why? They didn’t grow a human in their belly for close to 10 months. They didn’t push something way bigger than the opening that it came out of. They don’t have an automatic food source built into their bodies. They can’t help it.
85. Boys are thrashers. They bang everything against anything and throw everything they can get their hands on, on the floor.
86. As a mom, you will get beat up. Pinched, poked, hit, pushed, bruised, hair pulled, slapped and head butted. I look like I’ve been in a fight every day.
87. When your kid is sick and he’s absolutely miserable, which makes you exhausted, and people say… “it’s good for his immune system” you’re going to want to mentally slap them in the face a few times. Yes I know it’s good to build an immune system but you’re not the one dealing with a sick, uncomfortable, unhappy, fussy kid!!
88. My son puts everything in his mouth. Everything. Paper, dirt, rocks, diapers, cardboard… everything. It’s normal I guess?
89. When they start walking it’s good because they are more independent but bad because they’re constantly falling down and bumping their bodies against everything. Which means more bruises and injuries. I swear he gives me a heart attack every five minutes.
90. Tantrums start early. Brace yourself.
Until next time!
Hello again! Thank you for reading this third post on my adventures in motherhood. I must reiterate that these are my experiences only! I am a first time mama and though I have had experience with babies/kids in the past, there is and was a lot that I did not know!
I also want to share that given the fact we have been under a bit of sleep deprivation, the order of these are in no order as I’m writing these points down as they come to mind. 🙂 Thank you for understanding!!
And here continues the list…
22. All babies hate diaper changes at first.
They cry every time for at least a few weeks. This is tough on you because you’re changing the diapers so often and it’s just difficult to hear your baby cry.
23. You will be flooded with unsolicited advice.
Ok I knew this already. BUT, I did not know the extent of it. People are very passionate about what’s expected of moms and how they raise their kids. If it worked for them, it should work for all, right! WRONG! Now, hear me out… Everyone obviously means well in trying to help you and offer their suggestions and opinions but what it really comes down to is what works for you and your baby. No one else. You just have to say thank you and take what you want from it if anything at all. I’m still working on this – it is an everyday challenge. This leads me to my next point..
24. Not only is having a baby purely a challenge, but keeping your boundaries is also.
Family, friends, acquaintances, strangers, doctors, nurses, psychologists, your waiter, barista, masseuse etc. (you get the idea) will tell you what you SHOULD be doing. Since every baby is so different, as they say, no one knows what works for you and your babe but YOU. Holding those boundaries within yourself can be the most challenging. To not be affected by these offerings is much more difficult than I imagined. Why? Because I’m a first time mom and I’m not only trying to SURVIVE and keep this baby alive, but to also figure out what’s best for my baby. Meanwhile, I’m constantly questioning myself and what I’m doing because I’ve never done this before! I’m still battling this every day and I probably will until I’m more confident in myself… So, I just have to take a step back and appreciate the gesture, consider the options, take in what I want and just keep swimming… Or floundering. Just Kidding. Maybe… 🙂
25. Nothing ever stays constant except the fact that you will be tired.
All. The. Time. What works one day may make your little one wail the next. For example, when your baby is crying and you’re trying to calm him down, you could have 6 different ways you know helps. Trying each way more than once may be necessary before any one attempt works. Every day is different. What entertains your baby one day may not interest him at all the next day. So… For those people like me who like routines or consistency, just give in to the crazy.
26. You’ll never get to sleep like you used to.
As a mom you somehow sadly get used to getting up all the time at night. And when your baby hits you with a long stretch you STILL will wake up a lot of time! Or you get some time to nap because someone is watching him or her and you can’t sleep!! It’s such a torturous cycle.
27. Sleep begets sleep.
Babies need enough sleep during the day for proper brain function. Do your best to not let your baby get overtired. It’s a constant battle over here in this household.
28. Be prepared for most everything pertaining to the baby falls on mama.
We grew them in our bellies. These things are just more natural for us mamas. Guys have to learn it all. And it’s tough!!
29. Get used to eating your food cold as a mom.
Especially if you’re breastfeeding. You’re at the baby’s beckoning call and often times when the food is hot, so is your milk for your little one!
30. The first year of your baby’s life is the most challenging for your marriage.
Ok I knew this. But I didn’t KNOW this like I do now. I mean where do I start?? Every. Single. Thing. Is different. You will no longer spend your evenings doing the Netflix and chill thing. Or making elaborate dinners. Or hosting lots of guests for meal. Or. jumping up and going somewhere for the weekend. Or going out on the town with friends. Or going on long hikes. You know what I mean right? Ok maybe some of you do these things with infants but I have not experienced this just yet. It’s just much more complicated. Your freedom is temporarily gone. Your time spent together has diminished. Your social life isn’t quite where it was before the baby. All of these crazy moving parts surrounding this new little being are now your focus. It’s not that it’s bad. It’s just totally different. And difficult to adjust to. Communication is your savior. And date nights.
31. If you’re an extrovert like me, cabin fever may drive you crazy.
If I could I would have back to back plans all day long. I love to be on the go and busy! And now, with a baby, I find myself more inside my home more than ever! Yes I get out for walks and quick outings to the store etc. but it’s nowhere near the same! I love entertaining and socializing and being around people.
32. Stop looking for the right way to do things, and just do what works for you and your baby especially in the first few months. Just survive. Keep your baby alive.
33. Sorry guys – but there isn’t a ton for you to do in the beginning months.
Especially if she’s breastfeeding. Cleaning the house, grocery shopping, meal preparation, errands and holding the baby to give mom a tiny break!!
34. Please see image.
35. As a new mother with a newborn you will hardly have time for anything or anyone else but your baby.
Including your husband. This just needs to be known that the energy and effort has now shifted from solely your relationship to your baby. This is extremely difficult especially for the men. Their role has changed and often times this can be confusing and unsettling. Reassure him constantly. Yes, you may have two babies now. 😬
36. Your baby’s laugh could cure cancer in your eyes. It’s the most ridiculously cute sound you’ve EVER heard. Ever.
37. They grow up so fast. Seriously. It’s a bit crazy! Yes I know I knew this before but the reality of it is nuts😱Weirdest phenomenon. Every day feels like it goes by soooooooo slow but the weeks fly by. You go from giving birth to a 3 month old! It’s unreal.
Stay tuned for more. Thank you for reading ❤️❤️❤️
Let’s be real here, I constantly wonder how I survived my 20’s. I had that ‘Oh sh!t I’m turning 31 soon’ moment today. Reflecting back on my 20’s and all the craziness that took place, made me realize what I learned during that decade of chaos. I’m not going to get into the details of everything but WOW. I believe that there is SO much change during that time. I have asked a number of people for their input and many of the same kept coming up. Again, this is all relative!
From the early 20’s, you’re in college, or graduating college, or maybe you started working after high school. You think, there is really life after my high school bubble?!? Yes, yes there is and darn it now I have to kind of grow up. Kind of. You live on your own and you learn the tango of living with other people besides your family. Having to actually share your space with other people, divvying up household responsibilities, and being held accountable for bills – yikes. Surviving your 21st birthday and the crazy bar/club scene is a pure miracle. Hopefully it wasn’t based from the movie ‘The Hangover’. Bar tabs, eating out whenever and eating whatever were major parts of your spending habits. Random dates, unhealthy relationships, unruly friends, and living life on the edge was a good portion of your syllabus.
Some of you may have continued to graduate school in the mid-20’s, or kept on working but here you see more of a finesse in living on your own. Your relationships may, or may not have improved. But if it’s any consolation, you sure as heck learned a lot the hard way. OR maybe you played it safe. In any event, there is a lot to be learned during the third decade of your life!
1. Start saving. And leave it be.
Did I do this? Yes, but I kept taking money out for various expenses. So what am I left with? Not too much! If there’s anything that I’ve learned thus far is that there are SO many unexpected items to pay for that you have to dip into your savings for. In my early 20’s there was no way in hell I had a savings account and an emergency savings account. Maybe I wasn’t the most educated about how to best save my money at that point, but at least I got there eventually… In any event, I would say that putting away at least $5 a paycheck to start. I know college students don’t usually have all the time in the world to work, but every little bit counts. I wish someone made me do this back then! Remember, leave it be and do not touch your savings! (Easier said than done).
2. Take care of your body and mind.
Yet another piece of advice that was not drilled at me. And when I have kids, I will drill this into their brains. Seriously. Being diabetic and susceptible to just about anything and everything, it is imperative to start exercising regularly and eating healthy. Most people eat and drink whatever they please, without the worry of gaining weight or any health risks. Plus not to mention the metabolism is a bit more speedy during those years! Ahhhh the good ‘ol days. Burgers and fries with beers, fried yummy-ness, pasta, bread, sugary things from heaven and eating whatever and whenever I wanted… I dream about this, you know? No… I really do dream of this. Everything in moderation is my motto.
3. Spend more time with family.
Family first. This doesn’t take precedence as much as your friends in your early 20’s. Finding yourself, and your place in your social life seem to be more important. I mean, come on, there are SO many fun things to do. Like… your 21st birthday, discovering every bar possible in your area (and other places), going to Vegas, parties, BBQ’s, organized sports, travel, and places to explore with friends. Yes, everyone does at least some of these and your time gets sucked up by it all. Oh and school and work, that happens too. As the years drift by and we find our place outside of the college scene, we start to see our parents and grandparents getting older. What a concept, I know. But this is often difficult to truly see
4. Get a job… please.
If you haven’t gotten a job yet in your lifetime, please drop what you’re doing and go look for one immediately! This is a subject I could probably rant about for quite a long time. I started working when I was 15 years old and pretty much never stopped except while in high school. I worked during the summers, of course, and throughout college. By your 20’s, it would be not only in your best interest, but everyone else’s, for you to get a job. At this point in your life you should be weaning yourself off of your parents’ payroll. Being able to support yourself, and starting to take responsibility for your finances is an incredibly vital aspect of survival in this world.
5. Take every opportunity to travel.
Life gets crazy, and it gets crazy FAST! If there’s one thing that I wish I did when I was in college, it would be to spend time abroad. This is your chance to spend more time than you’ll (probably) ever be able to in the future, in a foreign country. Experience a new culture, meet new people, and explore the world!
6. Do things for you.
It is so easy to get caught up in doing things for other people – friends, family, whomever. This is the time to be adventurous! Not to mention, the time you’ll be the most resilient to anything. Friends may come and go, relationships come and go, but take the time to build YOU!
7. Take risks (to some degree).
Try out a new sport. Join a club. Go on a weekend outdoors trip with the recreation department. Ask questions. Try new foods. Work in an environment you never thought you’d see yourself in. Try out for a team. Take a class because you’re curious. Study abroad. Ditch the car, and ride the bus. Eat by yourself. Live in a town that you’ve never lived in. Take a job out in a new location. Live in a foreign country. This is the time to try new things! Your resources are at your fingertips!
8. Relationships are fun.
This is your time to see what’s out there before settling down. We learn more about what we want and don’t want in a partner, and in ourselves as well. Meet as many people as possible, go on dates, put yourself out there, get to know someone, fall in love, and just have fun. I remember this time as a time when I was not only getting to really know who I was, but a time that I was figuring out what kind of partner I want. It was a total trial period and by no means was it glorious. I had my share of unhealthy relationships, ones that I didn’t see going anywhere or ones that I just didn’t fully connect with. I stayed with people that didn’t treat me right, and/or I didn’t treat them right. Learning about confrontation in an honest, graceful manner was difficult – especially in matters that I had never brought to the table. It is always uncomfortable.
9. Prioritize.
The easiest thing to do is to do is lose track of yourself and your priorities because there is just SO much going on all the time. That BBQ on the beach with your sounds like so much more fun than great aunt Sally’s birthday. And you’ve got to keep up with the styles – besides, the money in my savings account isn’t going anywhere! Bring it back to your purpose and what you want for your future. Are you doing what it takes to reach your goals and setting yourself up for a good future?
Overall, your 20’s are a time of growth. As people say, you ‘find yourself’. I would have to say that it is 100% true. Have fun, take care of your body and mind, explore the world, and learn from everything!
Nourishing Zen 